take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
