on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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