They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
