Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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