It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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