Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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