I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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