Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
