just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
