I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
