Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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