How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
