Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
