How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
