didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
