dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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