the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
