I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
