the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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