Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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