i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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