I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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