Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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