Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
