I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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