I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if only i could text you this smell
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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