can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
