what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
