my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize