It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
