Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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