I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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