I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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