He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
