we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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