yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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