come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
