How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
