Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
