Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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