So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
