i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
