she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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