Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
