he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
