I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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