come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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