life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
