I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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