if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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