It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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