Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
