...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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