dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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