The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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